Thursday, January 30, 2003
I’m researching Pennsylvania’s 8th grade reading test (http://www.pde.state.pa.us/a_and_t/lib/a_and_t/8PracTst.pdf) . There’s a passage on it about a couple who takes in a bear. Before the passage there are instructions for the student.
“The article you are about to read is about a ‘family bear.’ Below are two statements that will provide background knowledge information prior to reading this article.
· Bears are large, omnivorous mammals having long, shaggy hair.
· Black bears are generally three feet high at the shoulder and five feet in length.”
Am I the only one who thinks that if a child doesn’t know what a bear is, they certainly won’t have any idea what the hell an “omnivorous mammal” is?
“The article you are about to read is about a ‘family bear.’ Below are two statements that will provide background knowledge information prior to reading this article.
· Bears are large, omnivorous mammals having long, shaggy hair.
· Black bears are generally three feet high at the shoulder and five feet in length.”
Am I the only one who thinks that if a child doesn’t know what a bear is, they certainly won’t have any idea what the hell an “omnivorous mammal” is?
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
[M]ay the lexicographer be derided, who being able to produce no example of a nation that has preserved their words and phrases from mutability, shall imagine that his dictionary can embalm his language, and secure it from corruption and decay, that it is in his power to change sublunary nature, and clear the world at once from folly, vanity, and affectation.
--Samuel Johnson, Preface to the Dictionary of the English Language
--Samuel Johnson, Preface to the Dictionary of the English Language
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
i thought i'd posted this a while back, but apparently didn't. enjoy.
a while back, for reasons that i myself have not yet figured out, i volunteered to take care of kate’s dog, nanook. nanook is a jack russell terrier, not unlike “eddie” from frasier, or that dog wishbone on pbs. every time i see a jack russell terrier, i think of how cap once described the breed as being “real butch little dogs”. it was cap’s assessment that kept me from saying “it’s my girlfriend’s! I wanted a bigger dog!” whenever strangers came up to me on the street to ask me about the pooch. anyway, this sunday i decided to sleep in and didn’t get put of bed until 8 a.m. with a sense of “gosh, i’ve wasted half the day away already!” and decided to walk the dog. it was rainy and gray, but not entirely unpleasant. i was crossing the street by city hall, when a guy in a gigantic s.u.v. pulls up to to the crosswalk and waits for the light to change. the guy looks out of his window and calls to me. we have the following conversation:
him: hey, excuse me, what kind of cat is that.
me: (thinking he might have meant “dog” or something) it’s a jack russell terrier.
him: no, what kind of *cat* is it.
me: (getting rained on, unamused, not quite sure if this guy is being an asshole, or if he’s just a big weirdo, or did he think i was walking a cat) it’s a dog.
him: oh, ok. (and drives off)
now, if i were an asshole who enjoyed making indirect insults at people’s dogs (and had very small genitalia prompting me to buy a very large s.u.v.), i would probably laugh at the object of my ridicule after having made fun of them so that they would know that they had been insulted, or at the very least i would wait until there was a bit of a crowd, so that other people could bear witness to my quick wit. the way this guy was by himself, and there wasn’t anyone on the street, so i guess he just made that weird attempt at a joke for the sake of his own bemusement. pfft, some people...
a while back, for reasons that i myself have not yet figured out, i volunteered to take care of kate’s dog, nanook. nanook is a jack russell terrier, not unlike “eddie” from frasier, or that dog wishbone on pbs. every time i see a jack russell terrier, i think of how cap once described the breed as being “real butch little dogs”. it was cap’s assessment that kept me from saying “it’s my girlfriend’s! I wanted a bigger dog!” whenever strangers came up to me on the street to ask me about the pooch. anyway, this sunday i decided to sleep in and didn’t get put of bed until 8 a.m. with a sense of “gosh, i’ve wasted half the day away already!” and decided to walk the dog. it was rainy and gray, but not entirely unpleasant. i was crossing the street by city hall, when a guy in a gigantic s.u.v. pulls up to to the crosswalk and waits for the light to change. the guy looks out of his window and calls to me. we have the following conversation:
him: hey, excuse me, what kind of cat is that.
me: (thinking he might have meant “dog” or something) it’s a jack russell terrier.
him: no, what kind of *cat* is it.
me: (getting rained on, unamused, not quite sure if this guy is being an asshole, or if he’s just a big weirdo, or did he think i was walking a cat) it’s a dog.
him: oh, ok. (and drives off)
now, if i were an asshole who enjoyed making indirect insults at people’s dogs (and had very small genitalia prompting me to buy a very large s.u.v.), i would probably laugh at the object of my ridicule after having made fun of them so that they would know that they had been insulted, or at the very least i would wait until there was a bit of a crowd, so that other people could bear witness to my quick wit. the way this guy was by himself, and there wasn’t anyone on the street, so i guess he just made that weird attempt at a joke for the sake of his own bemusement. pfft, some people...
Thursday, January 02, 2003
I was hoping to get fired today. Doesn't look like it's gonna happen. Happy New Year to me...
