Musings from the God of Cities

i'd love to say that my recent visit to atlantic city was inspired by that episode of "designing women" where suzanne sugarbaker loses all her money and goes to a.c. to make the dough she needs to like, pay her mortgage or something. alas, my reason for going was not that glamorous. i went because my frined patty vedder (who lives none-to-far from atlantic city) and i have been talking about going since forever, and we both essentially have the summer off right now. my somewhat mundane reasons for going don't mean i didn't have a heck of a time, though. see for yourselves:

we started off at trump's...


...awesomely tacky...


...casino!


we wound up hitting several casinos over the course of the day, and trump's had by far the most watered-down drinks. as patty noted, "well, that's why he's as rich as he is!" patty also noted how much the jokers on the poker machines looked like bill clinton


the minimal boozey-ness of the casino rum-and-cokes issue didn't affect patty as much as it did me, though. i'm cheap and broke anyway, and was more interested in free drinks than i was in gambling. patty, who is employed, and was driving that day, opted to gamble, and largely avoid the booze-ahol


also gambling were old people


like, so old they can't breathe on their own


i'm talkin' george burns-old


but atlatic city isn't just about the gambling! no, it's also about boardwalk nationalism,


saltwater taffy,


bootleg toys,


and crabs


being on the boardwalk in new jersey during a hot, hot summer day, i was hoping for some sexiness. even though there was some,




sexiness was pretty much the exception to the rule that day






even the beach-bar sluts weren't that hot


at least the drive home was pretty